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Eternal · Sunshine · of · the · Spotless · Mind


Online Diary of Neville Longbottom

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It was Dumbledore and Harry. And they mentioned my name.

Well, that was informative.

Apparently, if things had gone differently, I might have had to have been Harry and he might have been normal.

Right up to the point where you know who took over and killed the lot of us. So, about 5 years ago.

I'm still entirely too stunned to know how I feel.
Except that I may as well try and solve this thing with the love potions on my own.

Who to recruit:

Mr. Malfoy or Hermione?

On the one hand, I have death by unforgivable curse. On the other hand, I have the wrath of Hermione scorned, and, death by poorly worded attempt at unforgivable curse, courtesy of Draco.

I've got a little time before my counter charm wears off and Pansy (or Justine Otterley) manages to get off another "Accio Neville."
Current Mood:
angry take me on...
Current Music:
Autumn's Grey Solace "The Unshakable Demon"
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Things are getting worse. Fortunately, the Muggle Studies department was able to get a lapstop computator and wi fi, with which I have absconded for the time being. Fortunately the best reception for this wi fi thing is in a supply closet (I won't tell you which one) somewhere in Hogwarts. Mrs. Norris, sadly, knows, and when the paralysio charm I worked out (it was a second year attempt at a paradisio charm that makes you uncontrollably happy, only I managed to make a hash of it and it has the unintended side effect of making you too happy to want to move for several hours - since then, it's come in handy, as I had to use it on Pansy as well. She is currently bundled up in a different closet making frightening noises, the most frightening of which is the occasional "oh Neville." I really ought to look over that charm and see what it actually does...)

In any case, thing have gotten a little weird around here. I tried to get Harry and Ron's help on this but only found Ron, who was in no mood to talk about anything regarding Hermione and Draco... Poor Ron. I could not find Harry at all, but then, it is the second half of the year when Harry goes into magical Harry-saving-the-world-from-the-U-NO-WHO land, so I'm not surprised.

Mostly, the effects of the potion are contained within Slytherin, however, Myrtle's and my prompt investigation have accidentally rendered me the most sought-after Gryffindor bloke in Slytherin history. Myrtle finds this highly amusing. I don't. Thus, the closet.

Someone's coming. Assuming Mrs. Norris doesn't draw their attention with purring, I should be...

Is that Dumbledore?
Current Mood:
confused confused
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hmm. With a little help from Myrtle, I was able to trace where all that love potion went; I've learned a lot about Hogwart's Plumbing, and, sorry to say, the relative strength of my stomach. Seems that particular drain was cross patched back in Myrtle's day by some enterprising Ravenclaws that had it in for the boys in Slytherin. It feeds right into the sinks in a couple of the lavatories somewhere down in Slytherin house. Of course, I can't get there, but I'm glad that Myrtle seems to have avoided the effects.

Still, I imagine all those Slytherins brushing their teeth in the morning (at least I know Crabbe and Goyle won't be affected)... I suppose I should just let it go, but some weird things have been happening since then. A lot of the boys from Slytherin have been, well, rather friendly with girls outside of their house. That's not something I've ever seen; I figured that the powers that be in that house had you matched up for marriage before your hair recovered from the sorting hat.

Ron just came in, shouting about something, and then he left. I should tell him, if nobody else. He's not been the same since...
I can't say it. It reminds me of the smell of the pipes. That was a lot of love potion Ginny sold me; had she made use of it, I suspect she could have broken some longstanding records, both in Hogwarts and on the internest. I'm going to need help to try and reverse this before-

Pansy Parkington just came into the computator lab. She's... looking at me. She's... smiling? I don't think I've ever seen her attempt that before.

I have to find Trevor now (hop, hop you stupid toad. You're never around any other time).

Will update later.
Current Mood:
scared run away run away !!
Current Music:
Tom Waits "Misery's the River of the World"
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I bought the potion from Ginny. I don't know what I planned to do with it, but, for a while this afternoon, I forgot all about it. I was looking for Trevor (he's been gone an awfully long time, this time) and by the time I found him, I didn't remember what I did with it. In fact, I forgot I even had it until I sat down and started looking at my journal entries.

Well, I started looking. Professor Flintwick showed me a very good finding charm (since I keep losing track of Trevor) and, after a lot of searching, I finally found it in the 5th floor lavatory. I must have put it on the sink when I was washing my hands.

Sadly, the whole thing tipped over in the sink and broke, sending all the potion down the drain. I was relieved, but then I remembered that moaning Myrtle spends a lot of time down in that plumbing eavesdropping. I don't know if the potion will affect ghosts, and I feel like I should warn her, but what happens if it does work? I don't want to be the object of the undying affections of the dead!

I should write her a letter "Dear Myrtle; Please beware of the plumbing connecting the 5th floor boys lavatory to the rest of Hogwarts. I accidentally poured a whole bottle of love potion down the drain. If you have been there, please take care not to look at anyone..."

Bother.

I should try to come up with an antidote, just in case. Potions. I hate potions. I was so relieved I never had to see Professor Snape again. Maybe I can ask Hermione's help.
Current Mood:
anxious anxious
Current Music:
Sigur Ros "Tak"
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I should be studying. I can't forget like last night and spend all night reading about muggle politics (really, I can't possibly remember what was so interesting about them, now, but last night, they were all I read about). I was looking through the other students' journals and found ginnylicious's last entry (I hope this tagging doesn't get me arrested).

She wants me to buy a bottle of love potion from her. So she doesn't use it, I guess.

I like Ginny, as a friend, mind you; I think she is very nice. She's always been very nice to me. I am a little bit... intimidated by her, though, these days. Well, if I'm to be honest with you, diary, by most girls, and especially by the vast network of snogging that seems to be happening all around me. I don't feel left out, really, just... bewildered, confused. There is someone I fancy, I guess, a little, but she...

Well, it's not very important.

I should help my friend, though. I haven't got any use for a love potion. Oh well, it might... come in handy some day? I don't know.

I'll do it. She'd do the same for me.

Oh! Then I have to find Trevor.
Current Mood:
determined determined
Current Music:
Massive Attack "Mezzanine"
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Well, not much to say about the internest, I was busy chasing down a dead end with Prof Sprout on the Ice Pod thing. They do not play music, not matter how many charms you place on them. Well, that's not entirely true, there are some singing charms, but none of the songs I could get the ice pod to sing were the ones I wanted to hear.

Hermione pointed out that when muggles speak of iPods, they are not talking in their on the lines code language for Ice Pods, but a a very small device, like a computer that plays mp3 files. I looked into getting one, but once I checked out the exchange rates on wizard to muggle money, I abandoned that idea quickly.

A cheaper alternative, I've found out, is to burn CDs. I have tried burning a couple, but only made a mess and a very bad smell. Obviously, the burning process does not involve fire. I will have to research more.

I've also learned that muggles are, if anything, even more preoccupied with snogging than Ginny; they have quizzes and articles and experts (snogging experts) and ...other things. I sort of stumbled on some things before that I'd rather not think about, but, it seems that's all any muggle ever thinks about.

Alan Moore apparently passes as an artist among muggles. Claims he's a wizard. Openly, even, but muggles don't believe him. I think I have one of his wizard cards.

Muggles are very weird. I've got a lot of other things to do, so not much on the lines research for me in the next couple days. Herbology, History, Transfiguration (shudder) and Charms call!

Oh, and I have to find Trevor, before I forget what he even looked like.
Current Mood:
disappointed disappointed
Current Music:
Massive Attack "Teardrop"
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... Drew this picture of me. I'm not sure why this is, but I found out I could use it as an "icon" to represent me on the lines.

I think I would like to make more muggle friends, but I don't know what to talk to them about. I know I'm not allowed to tell them much about my life as a student at Hogwarts, or much about... anything... and I don't know much about muggles, either, so I guess I will have to learn more about them, and make up a muggle persona. Still, I like the picture. Trevor is very cute.

I'm not sure what the artist did with my nose, though...


N

PS I'm learning about music! It seems that members of the Weird Sisters are also in muggle bands (called Radiohead and Blur). Who knew? I have been downloading mp3s to listen to on the computator, but it looks like I should get an Ice Pod to play them elsewhere(Prof Sprout has those in Herbology - how I'm going to get it to play mp3s I do not know, but so far, all this computator stuff is coming naturally to me, so we'll just see).
Current Mood:
confused confused
Current Music:
Radiohead "Sail to the Moon"
* * *
If the muggles say a lynx is "nsfw" FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS HOLY DO NOT CLICK ON IT

There are some things that are just better to forget...

...

wait, was that...?

No, couldn't be.

Current Mood:
scared trying so hard to forget
Current Music:
The too fast beating of my poor, poor heart
* * *
Sorry, journal, I've been away a while. Frankly, and I'm sure you're going to be shocked to hear this, but I'd quite forgotten about you. I happened across the little computator laboratory they have here in Hogwarts again while I was trying to find where Trevor had gotten off to (again. Trevor has been a recent terror, hopping off more than usual), and remembered trying to make one of these journals on the lines. I couldn't, of course, remember the password (fortunately, it was the same one the Fat Lady uses for the door to the Gryffindor Commons and the Fat Lady and I are old friends now, so she helped me out with that) at first, and once I got in, I have to say, these computators and the internest is rather confusing!
I asked Ron for help, since his dad works with muggle things, but Ron was useless and nearly set the whole lab on fire.
We found Hermione, since she was a muggle, once, and asked her for help, but she gave Ron one of those looks. He always thinks they're meant to be withering, but I'm not so sure. Those two are funny. I wish they'd justsdaklngskdln kg. hx

augh. Trevor. Stupid toad.

What was I saying? Mustn't have been that important.
Ron went off after Hermione so they could have a row, which, I guess they'd not had one all day, so it was something of a record for them. I found Harry, and thought, that since he'd been raised by muggles, he'd know something about them, but he said he'd never been allowed to actually use one before, only watch, so he couldn't help much. But he did try. People like to say mean things about Harry, seems like it's something new every year, but he's always been decent to me, and that's more than I can say for a lot of people. Eventually, he had to go to quidditch practice, so I worked on it myself. I learned a lot of things, so far. Working with the computator is a lot like constructing a charm. I don't think Prof. Flintwick would agree with me, but that's alright, I know what I mean. If you look upwards and see where I made the word use in italics, I had to do something called tagging.
Apparently, muggles also do this to walls, which gets them in trouble with the authorities.
I found a review of a movie about muggles who used memory charms on each other and decided to use that as a title for this journal, since it sometimes seems like my whole life is one giant memory charm gone wrong.
You can learn a lot about muggles on the internest. I think I might come down here (if I can remember the way, it's quite out of the way. It also takes a long time to get anything done, since Hogwarts still has something called the "dial ups" and is "pwned" [whatever that means]) more often, but for now, I have more work to do and find out where Trevor has gone.
Oh, 4th year muggle studies class. Talk again soon

N. L. esq.
Current Mood:
contemplative contemplative
* * *
I was wondering why my remembrall told me I forgot about something, but it's hard since I never exactly remember what I forgot. This is so confusing.

What was I about to write ? Oh ! I remember. Hermione told me about making a journal on the Muggle's internet thinggy, but then, I forgot. I even forgot when it was exactly, a week maybe ? MAybe yesterday ? Argh ! I hate that.

Not that I have anything to say in a journal anyway, my life is boring. Hopefully though, I won't forget to actually post it in. Oh well, my remembrall will help me to remember... If I don't forget to tell it !

Today I've been to Transfiguration classes. Professor McGonagall asked us to transfigure a frog. I think something went wrong, because my frog disappeared, and I couldn't find it back. Hopefully she haven't noticed, but I still have to find a vase for tomorrow's class, or maybe find the frog and try again. But I forgot where I put my wand again.

Anyway, I better get going before I forget that I got homeworks to do !
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